I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
