I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
