none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
