No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize