It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
