I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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