i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
