That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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