i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
