it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Randomize
