Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
