Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
