Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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