i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I need to stop coming to work sober
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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