JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
wow bdsm is so cute
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