Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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