I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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