Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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