nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
