woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize