My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Umm I'm too high to move.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
