So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
