dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
