HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
