I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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