thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
