This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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