: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
