In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
