I'm really into asian looking animals
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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