just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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