i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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