Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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