Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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