I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
