guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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