her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize