I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
