everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
