oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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