Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
