OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
