I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
