tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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