There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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