I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
