Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
