Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
