Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
