before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Welp...herpes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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