Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
