the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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