I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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