my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
