No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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