just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My dick has a subreddit
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
