I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We are two peas in an std pod
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
