He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
