omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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