I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
