i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
