She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
