dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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