I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
