my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
