Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
how does that bad decision feel?
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