I wish my penis had an off switch
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize