Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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