There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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