Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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