"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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