After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
