just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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