he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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