Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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