That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
