yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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